Saturday, April 04, 2009

here we go again

Ok since no one reads this blog I can say what i want...
My ex IMed me tonight. I didnt respond so he called me. asking me to come over and pick up a bag i had loaned him then when i said no he dangled 25 dollars he also owes me i said no then of course he brings it to sex. I have not slept with the man since we broke up in 2000.
I just have no idea what to think of all this. I thought we were seriously done speaking after our fight in uum december. I should have known better though he thinks that a few months equals to not speaking forever or something. I have asked him repeatedly to pretend i have died and to never call me again.
one of the last times i spoke with him he had told me he still loved me. Now... I dont know if this is bullshit or actually true. He could just be saying this so I continue to talk to him cus you know misery loves company.
I just wish i understood his thinking in why he does this.
i mean ok yea he was like the love of my life my true love. I saw myself growing old with him.
I mean i seriously thought i had found the person I would be with and all this bullshit just fucking kills me.
I just wish i knew what to do.
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