Thursday, February 24, 2011
I have been talking to someone.. but the problem there is he lives in Minnesota. BUT as of right now things are pretty good... yeah we haven't met yet but things are progressing.
Friday, January 07, 2011
I always loved history. I loved learning (and still do) about the past
Friday, February 19, 2010
my extended family is pretty big. My mom has 5 sisters and one brother when they are all together along with all us kids and now that my brothers and cousins are getting married and having kids of course it's loud.
honestly whenever everyone is together there is always something fun going on.
I think pretty much everyone has a great sense of humor. when we are all together you always hear people laughing about something.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
The ghost labs he was on was on again. Figures can't even get thru a NYE without seeing his face right. As you know I've been thinking about him a lot. Had a dream about him also but that was probably because I had seen the ghost labs show again. I fell asleep around 9pm. My friend Alice called and woke me up right before midnight so I rang in the new year on the phone with her.
Since I went to sleep so early I've been up since 4am.
I need to be in a normal sleep schedule though I am watching my nephew saturday and he's spending the night and he's on a schedule so I can't mess that up.
Ok I had this whole post thought out earlier but now I can't remember what I was going to say about the ex. I guess that's a good thing right.
Other than that I hope everyone has a wonderful new year.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
It's really starting to get annoying. I need someone else to dream about for cryin' out loud.
Maybe the cough medicine and the sinus stuff I took are the culprit for this dream. It wasn't a bad dream mind you but it was still a dream about him.
Ok I just wanted to post really quick cus I am going to try going back to sleep now.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Generally I hear from him 3 to 6 months from when we stop talking for whatever reason.
In October is when I started thinking about him a lot. I mean TONS. Then one night late October after I had spent the day in Michigan at my Aunt's house I see a commercial for the discovery show Ghost Labs and he was on it.
I mean it was strange I had been thinking about him sooo much then his face is on my tv. I thought maybe I might hear from him because of that. I didn't. I don't know if I am really disappointed about that though.
Ok in all honesty he is one person I didn't want to keep in touch with after we broke up. He hurt me badly and I just wanted to heal. WELL that never happened because every few months he'd find a way to get in touch with me. It's been this way since we broke up in late 2000. It's been this way for a long time where just when I'd feel like I was really getting over him that he'd come back into my life and then something would happen and we'd have a break again so it's a constant state of turmoil and never any true closure.
I still do love him. I won't lie. I don't love the asshole he can be but there are good parts of him that he likes to cover up and THAT is the person I will probably always love.
Ok I am sure it's because it's the holidays that I am thinking about him even more. I am sad that maybe this last time was the last time I will ever talk to him. I know it's been a long time coming that this break should have been what 10 years ago instead of now but now is the time I am feeling sad about not talking to him.
I know I can't let him fuck with my emotions any more but of course it still hurts and is sad.
I don't really have anyone to talk to about this situation since most of my friends don't want to talk about him cus they pretty much hate him for the crap he's pulled with me over the years. I can't really blame them though. He's pulled major shit with me, I admit that.
He was probably my truest love. I never expected to fall him but I did and fell hard.
Last year when we were talking again he had said he still loved me, this really haunts me. Did he mean it? Was that all bullshit? This is what I think about every day lately. I know I shouldn't.
I won't be calling him no matter how much I want to. Believe me I've come soo close to calling him, but stop myself.
I know no one reads this blog and I don't really get all that personal on it for the most part but this is the blog I can be the most honest well besides some of the stuff I post on my one tumblr account. The songs,lyrics,movie quotes are all feelings I've had for him.
He once told me I speak in songs. When I couldn't find the words, I'd be sending him songs to listen to that explained or said how I pretty much felt. Songs can say much more than I ever could. It was just easier to send him some beautiful music to tell him how I felt. Music to me can reach a person so much deeper than just words or a letter. I have whole playlists of songs I've sent him that mean so much to me.. of course all sappy make you cry your eyes out songs.
Ok before I ramble any more I should stop. I haven't been to sleep yet and it's almost 10am sunday morning.
Why do I always totally fuck up my sleep schedule on weekends?? Then I spend the rest of the week trying to fix it just to fuck it all up again.
Monday, December 07, 2009
Friday, December 04, 2009
[Looking at a porn magazine]
Gina: Oh, guys, look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite. Oh, you like that?
Tommy: I could go along with that.
Gina: Yeah, that's nice right? Well, it doesn't exist ok. Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing, it's like a river. Well, it's a fucking weave ok? And the tits, please! I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits by design were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they're purely functional. These are silicon city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being too unruly and all. Very key. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit. Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved... These are not real women, all right? They're beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, hi bob, and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate. Well I don't buy it, all right? But you fucking mooks, if you think that if there's a chance in hell that you'll end up with one of these women, you don't give us real women anything approaching a commitment. It's pathetic. I don't know what you think you're going to do. You're going to end up eighty-years old, drooling in some nursing home, then you're going to decide, it's time to settle down, get married, have kids? What, are you going to find a cheerleader? Charge it Mitch.
Tommy: I think you're over simplifying.
Gina: Oh eat me. Look at Paul. With his models on the wall, his dog named Elle McPherson. He's insane. He's obsessed. You're all obsessed. If you had an once of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence, you would realize that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin-deep. And you know what, if you ever did hook one of those girls, I guarantee you'd be sick of her.
Tommy: Yeah, I suppose I'd get sick of her after about, what, twenty or thirty years?
Gina: Get over yourself. Thank you Mitch. Say hello to Gertrude.
Gina: No mater how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there is some other shit going on in the relationship, besides the physical, it's going to get old, ok? And you guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip. Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
Willie Conway: What was that?
Tommy: I don't know, but a great ass.
Willie Conway: Nice tits. Come on let's go.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Image via WikipediaOk today is the anniversary of the Our Lady of the Angels school fire.
it's been 51 years since the fire.
My dad and aunt went to the school at the time of the fire. My Aunt was in the grade the ended up losing a lot of kids. She was actually supposed to have been in one of the classrooms that lost many many children. My grandparents had moved from the neighborhood but then moved back and my aunt wasn't in the room she should have been. She was due to be transferred into that classroom in a week or so. Her best friend Suzie was the worst burned and lived the longest after the fire. Suzie did end up passing away. My aunt has told me about the fire many times, she ended up staying after she got out of the school and witnessed some not so nice things. My dad was a year younger than her and went straight home he's never talked about it but anyone who knows my dad knows he never tells ANY stories about when he was a kid.
I read a book about the fire when i was in 3rd or 4th grade. A classmate (she was a bit older than my aunt) who was burned in the fire wrote a book called The Fire That Will Not Die (her name was Michele McBride in case anyone wants to look up the book it's back in print. I need to get it again I have no idea what happened to the two copies we had here) It's about her experiences as someone who was burned in the fire.
There is also another book called To Sleep With the Angels there is also a program called chicago stories on WTTW tonight (for those in chicagoland) that talks about the fire it's on one of the digital channels. On Comcast here in chicago it's on at 9pm on channel 243 if you don't have comcast it's on 11.2 (I think that's the from the OLAfire website they sent out an email about it being on.) I haven't been able to get thru the book Angels Too Soon it's just too sad but they do talk about the person who could be responsible for the fire. For a long time people blamed the janitor. My aunt has told me about the kid that they think did it. His family moved out of the neighborhood sometime after the fire.
The OLA fire site has pictures and lots of stuff on it. I've even found pictures of my dad and aunt with their classes in the photos and news area in the class photos area. Kinda weird to see my dad that little and in school lol.
Friday, October 02, 2009
I think it would be awesome to have a party at the palace. everyone in period costume. If someone is footing the bill it's even better so i can go all out for this party have a hair dresser and makeup person I'd want an authentic menu. Have foods that were served at royal banquets.
Friday, August 21, 2009
ok i have a few of them. One tree Hill, the OC i started watching that after it was off the air from the reruns on soapnet. my guiltiest pleasure would have to be big brother since i usually buy the feeds and spend 3 months parked in front of the computer watching until wee hours of the morning.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Friday, July 03, 2009
hhm I guess so. One time I saw a little old lady wandering around she couldn't find her house. She had dementia or something and i helped her find her way home.
I don't think it was heroic but it was the right thing to do.
Monday, June 22, 2009
my biggest vice is
buying makeup. I don't need any more honestly but i looove pretty things that will make me pretty (at least in my opinion improve my face).
I have enough eyeshadows to go on at least 50 faces. I haven't finished a shadow in years.
I have so much makeup it's not even funny but i love it, i have pics of some my stash in my livejournal scrapbook
i have many many many songs that make me cry (i have playlists of them) but here are a few
Thursday, June 18, 2009
one of my fave movies, i have quite a few from before i was born but this movie i watched so much as a kid i could recite it. one of the best spring break beach movies out there
I've seen lots of kids not respect people like they should and are very very rude. yes for the most part respect is earned but in general there is a certain respect given to strangers unless you see they are jerks too.
please and thank you seem to not be taught any more. how to act in public at restaurants, shopping centers or other places in public. it's not that kids should be seen and not heard but i have seen behavior at restaurants (nice ones) that would have had my family grab us and pay for drinks and ordered food and leave before we had eaten anything. ruining other people's shopping and/or dining is NOT acceptable ( ie: screaming, running in areas that are NOT play areas or not a chuck e cheese, kicking the back of the booth, hanging over the top of the booth where others are sitting, hitting other people sitting near you, ya know stuff like that)
chew with your mouth closed
this just should be a no brainer but i've seen more and more people eat with their mouths open and it's disgusting. Of course if the adults do it do you think the kids aren't doing the same? all the kids in my life get told to shut their mouths if they are constantly doing it.
Constant loud chewing too makes me insane so that won't be happening either lol