Sunday, December 27, 2009

What I Need

Posted via web from anya1976's posterous

Maher on Polanski plus New Rules

Posted via web from anya1976's posterous

A Case of Morals

I have to say i pretty much agree with everything he says about Roman Polanski here.

Posted via web from anya1976's posterous

another damn dream

I just woke up from another dream about my ex. Seriously wtf is my subconscious trying to tell me.
It's really starting to get annoying. I need someone else to dream about for cryin' out loud.
Maybe the cough medicine and the sinus stuff I took are the culprit for this dream. It wasn't a bad dream mind you but it was still a dream about him.
Ok I just wanted to post really quick cus I am going to try going back to sleep now.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Lasagna tastes better when it's left over

I don't know why it's better but it is.

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Love ya Johnny

Posted via web from anya1976's posterous

Monday, December 21, 2009

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Pathetic yes I know...

Ok for awhile now I have been thinking about my ex. The last time I talked to him was in July. Then he called me a week or so later and I ignored the call. I haven't heard from him since but the last couple months I've been thinking about him so much.
Generally I hear from him 3 to 6 months from when we stop talking for whatever reason.
In October is when I started thinking about him a lot. I mean TONS. Then one night late October after I had spent the day in Michigan at my Aunt's house I see a commercial for the discovery show Ghost Labs and he was on it.
I mean it was strange I had been thinking about him sooo much then his face is on my tv. I thought maybe I might hear from him because of that. I didn't. I don't know if I am really disappointed about that though.
Ok in all honesty he is one person I didn't want to keep in touch with after we broke up. He hurt me badly and I just wanted to heal. WELL that never happened because every few months he'd find a way to get in touch with me. It's been this way since we broke up in late 2000. It's been this way for a long time where just when I'd feel like I was really getting over him that he'd come back into my life and then something would happen and we'd have a break again so it's a constant state of turmoil and never any true closure.
I still do love him. I won't lie. I don't love the asshole he can be but there are good parts of him that he likes to cover up and THAT is the person I will probably always love.
Ok I am sure it's because it's the holidays that I am thinking about him even more. I am sad that maybe this last time was the last time I will ever talk to him. I know it's been a long time coming that this break should have been what 10 years ago instead of now but now is the time I am feeling sad about not talking to him.
I know I can't let him fuck with my emotions any more but of course it still hurts and is sad.
I don't really have anyone to talk to about this situation since most of my friends don't want to talk about him cus they pretty much hate him for the crap he's pulled with me over the years. I can't really blame them though. He's pulled major shit with me, I admit that.
He was probably my truest love. I never expected to fall him but I did and fell hard.
Last year when we were talking again he had said he still loved me, this really haunts me. Did he mean it? Was that all bullshit? This is what I think about every day lately. I know I shouldn't.
I won't be calling him no matter how much I want to. Believe me I've come soo close to calling him, but stop myself.
I know no one reads this blog and I don't really get all that personal on it for the most part but this is the blog I can be the most honest well besides some of the stuff I post on my one tumblr account. The songs,lyrics,movie quotes are all feelings I've had for him.
He once told me I speak in songs. When I couldn't find the words, I'd be sending him songs to listen to that explained or said how I pretty much felt. Songs can say much more than I ever could. It was just easier to send him some beautiful music to tell him how I felt. Music to me can reach a person so much deeper than just words or a letter. I have whole playlists of songs I've sent him that mean so much to me.. of course all sappy make you cry your eyes out songs.
Ok before I ramble any more I should stop. I haven't been to sleep yet and it's almost 10am sunday morning.
Why do I always totally fuck up my sleep schedule on weekends?? Then I spend the rest of the week trying to fix it just to fuck it all up again.

Monday, December 07, 2009

The Libertine - ending

epilogue speech..

The Libertine - beginning

the prologue speech

The Libertine Trailer

During the Paris premiere of Public Enemies in...Image via Wikipedia

I love this movie, Johnny Depp is wonderful in it

Friday, December 04, 2009

Beautiful Girls - Rosie O'Donnell

Beautiful Girls

Gina: I'm finished speaking to both of you okay? You're both fucking insane. You want to know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yes. Let me explain something to you, ok? Girls with big tits have big asses. Girls with little tits have little asses. That's the way it goes. God doesn't fuck around; he's a fair guy. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits and the skinnies little tiny niddlers. It's not my rule. If you don't like it, call him. Hey Mitch. Thank you.
[Looking at a porn magazine]
Gina: Oh, guys, look what we have here. Look at this, your favorite. Oh, you like that?
Tommy: I could go along with that.
Gina: Yeah, that's nice right? Well, it doesn't exist ok. Look at the hair. The hair is long, it's flowing, it's like a river. Well, it's a fucking weave ok? And the tits, please! I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits by design were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they're purely functional. These are silicon city. And look, my favorite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being too unruly and all. Very key. This is a mockery, this is a sham, this is bullshit. Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved... These are not real women, all right? They're beauty freaks. And they make all us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, hi bob, and our cellulite feel somehow inadequate. Well I don't buy it, all right? But you fucking mooks, if you think that if there's a chance in hell that you'll end up with one of these women, you don't give us real women anything approaching a commitment. It's pathetic. I don't know what you think you're going to do. You're going to end up eighty-years old, drooling in some nursing home, then you're going to decide, it's time to settle down, get married, have kids? What, are you going to find a cheerleader? Charge it Mitch.
Tommy: I think you're over simplifying.
Gina: Oh eat me. Look at Paul. With his models on the wall, his dog named Elle McPherson. He's insane. He's obsessed. You're all obsessed. If you had an once of self-esteem, of self-worth, of self-confidence, you would realize that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin-deep. And you know what, if you ever did hook one of those girls, I guarantee you'd be sick of her.
Tommy: Yeah, I suppose I'd get sick of her after about, what, twenty or thirty years?
Gina: Get over yourself. Thank you Mitch. Say hello to Gertrude.
Tommy: What?
Gina: No mater how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there is some other shit going on in the relationship, besides the physical, it's going to get old, ok? And you guys, as a gender, have got to get a grip. Otherwise, the future of the human race is in jeopardy.
Willie Conway: What was that?
Tommy: I don't know, but a great ass.
Willie Conway: Nice tits. Come on let's go.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

sad day in chicago history

photo by Einar Einarsson Kvaran for Our Lady o...Image via Wikipedia

Ok today is the anniversary of the Our Lady of the Angels school fire.
it's been 51 years since the fire.
My dad and aunt went to the school at the time of the fire. My Aunt was in the grade the ended up losing a lot of kids. She was actually supposed to have been in one of the classrooms that lost many many children. My grandparents had moved from the neighborhood but then moved back and my aunt wasn't in the room she should have been. She was due to be transferred into that classroom in a week or so. Her best friend Suzie was the worst burned and lived the longest after the fire. Suzie did end up passing away. My aunt has told me about the fire many times, she ended up staying after she got out of the school and witnessed some not so nice things. My dad was a year younger than her and went straight home he's never talked about it but anyone who knows my dad knows he never tells ANY stories about when he was a kid.
I read a book about the fire when i was in 3rd or 4th grade. A classmate (she was a bit older than my aunt) who was burned in the fire wrote a book called The Fire That Will Not Die (her name was Michele McBride in case anyone wants to look up the book it's back in print. I need to get it again I have no idea what happened to the two copies we had here) It's about her experiences as someone who was burned in the fire.
There is also another book called To Sleep With the Angels there is also a program called chicago stories on WTTW tonight (for those in chicagoland) that talks about the fire it's on one of the digital channels. On Comcast here in chicago it's on at 9pm on channel 243 if you don't have comcast it's on 11.2 (I think that's the from the OLAfire website they sent out an email about it being on.) I haven't been able to get thru the book Angels Too Soon it's just too sad but they do talk about the person who could be responsible for the fire. For a long time people blamed the janitor. My aunt has told me about the kid that they think did it. His family moved out of the neighborhood sometime after the fire.
The OLA fire site has pictures and lots of stuff on it. I've even found pictures of my dad and aunt with their classes in the photos and news area in the class photos area. Kinda weird to see my dad that little and in school lol.
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Friday, October 02, 2009

My next birthday party's at The Palace of Versailles

I think it would be awesome to have a party at the palace. everyone in period costume. If someone is footing the bill it's even better so i can go all out for this party have a hair dresser and makeup person I'd want an authentic menu. Have foods that were served at royal banquets.

The best part of a wedding?

The reception is always fun. I hate sitting in church. I will totally be honest about that.

Friday, August 21, 2009

My TV guilty pleasure

ok i have a few of them. One tree Hill, the OC i started watching that after it was off the air from the reruns on soapnet. my guiltiest pleasure would have to be big brother since i usually buy the feeds and spend 3 months parked in front of the computer watching until wee hours of the morning.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Friday, July 03, 2009

Everyday hero

hhm I guess so. One time I saw a little old lady wandering around she couldn't find her house. She had dementia or something and i helped her find her way home.

I don't think it was heroic but it was the right thing to do.

Monday, June 22, 2009

In defense of my vice: MAC cosmetics

my biggest vice is


buying makeup. I don't need any more honestly but i looove pretty things that will make me pretty (at least in my opinion improve my face).

I have enough eyeshadows to go on at least 50 faces. I haven't finished a shadow in years.

I have so much makeup it's not even funny but i love it, i have pics of some my stash in my livejournal scrapbook

'Run' gets me every time

i have many many many songs that make me cry (i have playlists of them) but here are a few

run by george strait

honestly i don't know why this one makes me cry but it always does

it's over now by l.a. guns

reminds me of a relationship i was in.

While You Loved Me by Rascal Flatts

the lyrics always kill me

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Hello, my name is...

I wouldn't change my name. when i was young i hated my name but i was named after my maternal grandmother. so i would never change my name

I wish I could have seen Where the boys are in the theater

one of my fave movies, i have quite a few from before i was born but this movie i watched so much as a kid i could recite it. one of the best spring break beach movies out there

Every kid should learn respect

I've seen lots of kids not respect people like they should and are very very rude. yes for the most part respect is earned but in general there is a certain respect given to strangers unless you see they are jerks too.

please and thank you seem to not be taught any more. how to act in public at restaurants, shopping centers or other places in public. it's not that kids should be seen and not heard but i have seen behavior at restaurants (nice ones) that would have had my family grab us and pay for drinks and ordered food and leave before we had eaten anything. ruining other people's shopping and/or dining is NOT acceptable ( ie: screaming, running in areas that are NOT play areas or not a chuck e cheese, kicking the back of the booth, hanging over the top of the booth where others are sitting, hitting other people sitting near you, ya know stuff like that)

chew with your mouth closed
this just should be a no brainer but i've seen more and more people eat with their mouths open and it's disgusting. Of course if the adults do it do you think the kids aren't doing the same? all the kids in my life get told to shut their mouths if they are constantly doing it.

Constant loud chewing too makes me insane so that won't be happening either lol

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

YouTube - moonlighting S02E13 clip

Moonlighting, In God We Strongly Suspect episode. Ending clip.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Dead Like Me

I love this show, this scene cracks me up. aah simple bathroom humor always makes me laugh.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Martha will love my

I wouldn't invite that bitch to my house

Thursday, May 07, 2009

it's happening again

my ex has been IMing me the past few days (he's even called)
he's all wanting me to have sex with him.. he wants a whole "no strings" casual deal. and for some reason with ME.
ok let me say again I have not had sex with him since we broke up.... we've kissed, fooled around briefly but nothing major.
I just do not understand why it has to be with me. i suggested he hook up with someone random. I mean he's not a bad looking guy.
it's times like this where i wish he was like other ex's that i never hear from after we break up.
it's just so hard to get over someone when they've never really let you do it.
He's told me he still loves me (in november) not sure if it was the truth, words are easy to say.
i told him tonight i was not interested in casual no strings kind of thing and he said he had nothing more to offer me so i was like ok BYE i haven't heard from him any more tonight. I guess we shall see if he contacts me tomorrow.

Friday, May 01, 2009

my tumblr

Saturday, April 04, 2009

here we go again

Ok since no one reads this blog I can say what i want...
My ex IMed me tonight. I didnt respond so he called me. asking me to come over and pick up a bag i had loaned him then when i said no he dangled 25 dollars he also owes me i said no then of course he brings it to sex. I have not slept with the man since we broke up in 2000.
I just have no idea what to think of all this. I thought we were seriously done speaking after our fight in uum december. I should have known better though he thinks that a few months equals to not speaking forever or something. I have asked him repeatedly to pretend i have died and to never call me again.
one of the last times i spoke with him he had told me he still loved me. Now... I dont know if this is bullshit or actually true. He could just be saying this so I continue to talk to him cus you know misery loves company.
I just wish i understood his thinking in why he does this.
i mean ok yea he was like the love of my life my true love. I saw myself growing old with him.
I mean i seriously thought i had found the person I would be with and all this bullshit just fucking kills me.
I just wish i knew what to do.

Wild Chinchilla vids

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Queen Sized Movie Trailer

actually a pretty good movie, I need to buy this one on DVD

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Well this isn't the first time i've thought about this.
My original plan was to hold up in my house since we have guns ammo and a reloading machine to make more ammo. the main part of the house is higher off the ground we have steel doors with tiny windows only at the top so we'd only have to re-enforce the basement windows which can be done easily have a generator if the power goes out. BUT we of course don't have enough stockpiled foods.
So i guess i would have to abandon that idea and head my ass to a Sam's Club or a Costco. but bring my guns and ammo and reloading machine which means bringing all the supplies which would suck but could be done.

tried doing a panorama pic of my desk

my desk is my vanity area so i have lots of makeup and different products at arms length within easy reach (especially stuff i use a lot. Toner, moisturizers, lip balms, lipglosses, perfume oil, powders)

ok so the panorama part didn't work all that well since my stuff is in more of a U shape around my "work area" of my desk. I tried doing more of a 360 shot but that didn't work either so this was the best i got.

here is a pic of my desk area (in front of a closet with the door taken off it's the second closet in my room and didn't get used much i need to hang a sheet or something over the door but in the closet on boxes i have my subwoofer for my computer speakers which is kinda nifty)

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The breakup

*edited to add*... I dated this guy in 2001 and early 2002.....well my boyfriend had kind of been busy and not able to see me or just not feeling that he needed to see me or whatever so i called him up and told him to eff off and I wanted my shi*t then I hung up on him. Not the nicest but I was really fed up with excuses at that point. He had been working 5 mins from my house for months and never made time to see me (he lived an hour away) he worked long hours but being literally 5 mins from my house he could have at least come over on his lunch to eat. His lunch was at the time i was making dinner anyway.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

my dad goes to the doctor tomorrow.
I guess we will find out his chemo schedule or something. If he thinks he will be able to work thru chemo he's out of his tree.
I don't want to post much about this to my main blog because that is linked to my facebook and I have family on facebook and i don't know if really anyone is supposed to know yet.
I know these spots on my dad's liver are small but it still worries me.
He had a mass removed from his colon and NOW spots on his liver... this could just be the beginning of bad shit.
My dad is a smoker so I know that doesn't help things. My grandma (my dad's mother) passed away before she was even 60 from cancer. She had lung cancer. She was a smoker for years but had quit for at least 10 before she passed.
My dad has no intention of quitting. I mean after all his colon issues he still hasn't changed his eating habits for god's sake. You'd think he wouldn't want to have the same freakin' problems again. This is my father for ya. Stubborn and will only do what he wants to do even if it will kill him.
We've known this for years though. When he first started having issues. Kidney stones here other stuff there. Then the colon issue and he had the colostomy bag for quite a few months.
I told my mom ages ago that he'll never change and to get a nice big ole insurance policy on him cus at this rate he won't make it to old age.
Pretty fucked up huh. You'd think that someone who just had his first grandchild would want to at least stick around awhile. Maybe see the kid grow up.

The shamwow sells itself

ShamWow by Robert Banh

yes i bought shamwows i had to the commercials are awesome. also have aqua globes, mighty mend it. and other various items over the years. i LOOOV the as seen on tv section at walgreens.

I'll spend my golden years in oahu,hawaii

this would be perfect, beach i could be tan all year and it's paradise

Monday, March 16, 2009

Eddie Izzard

love Eddie Izzard!!

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Season 3 promo

old but i had to post it

My fave part of the 2009 oscars
Seth Rogen and James Franco

Monday, March 09, 2009

Skin Care: Target Women

this is awesome

Sunday, March 08, 2009

YouTube - Freaks and Geeks - Freaks vs. Lindsay

love this show

Saturday, March 07, 2009

The Tudors Season 3 Promo (

can't wait


Your result for The Sexuality Spectrum Test...

Mostly Straight

You scored 39 (-52 being completely gay, 0 being bisexual, and 52 being completely straight)

You are mainly heterosexual, but you have a few homosexual qualities. You much prefer the opposite sex, but you have a mild interest in the same sex. If you disapprove of homosexuality, you may act overly straight to deny your slight gay tendencies. If you are comfortable with your sexuality, you might be up for experimenting with members of the same sex if given the opportunity. If you are sexually inexperienced, you could shift on the spectrum at a later time depending on whether you have sexual encounters with the same sex and whether or not you like those encounters.

Take The Sexuality Spectrum Test
at HelloQuizzy

ok i got mostly straight because i used to make out with my girl friends at the bar and we'd get free drinks. lol but chicks never turned me on or anything

YouTube - Labyrinth - Jennifer connelly David Bowie End Scene

of course one of my fave scenes but i love this whole movie

My favorite lines from 'Labyrinth'

everything Jareth says in the last scene

"Everything that you have wanted I have done. You asked that the child be taken, I took him. You cowered before me, I was frightening. I have reordered time. I have turned the world upside-down and I have done it all for you. I am exhausted from living up to your expectations of me. Isn't that generous?"

"Look Sarah. Look at what I'm offering you. Your dreams. I ask for so little. Just let me rule you and you can have everything that you want. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave."

Sun city,arizona made me homesick

visiting my grandpa/great grandma always had me wanting to go home. I guess if we stayed at a hotel i wouldn't have wanted to leave but staying at Nana's house sucked. she'd turn the air conditioning off at night and all the fans off so i'd be hot as hell. She had food so old in the fridges it wasn't even funny. I once opened up an orange soda i would generally drink out of the can but thankfully i poured it into a glass and it came out BROWN. Granted this was years ago when i was like 15 when the house belonged to my great grandparents but my grandpa who lives in that house isn't much better thankfully his girlfriend cleans the place and gets rid of stuff that is too old. if it were just my Gramps it would not be good at all.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Don't say 'cunt' around me

I've always hated this word. and it's used to down someone. why are all horrible words generally terms to do with females??

but generally used in the context of talking about women in general. my brother had a friend who instead of just saying women or girls or whatever would just use the term bitches "lets go meet some bitches" it's degrading and rude and i hate it

Wednesday, March 04, 2009


ok dorky and cheesy yes but i LOVE One Tree Hill and this is one of my fave speeches from the show. said by the dreamy Lucas.
"Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a
reward for persisting through life so long alone. The belief in each
other and the possibility of love. A decision, to ignore or simply rise
above the pain of the past. The covenant, which at once binds two souls
and yet severs prior ties. The celebration, of the chance for two will
always be stronger than one. Like a team, braced against the tempest’s
of the world. And love... will always be the guiding force in our lives.
For tonight is mere formality.. only an announcement to the world for
feelings long held. Promises made long ago -- in the sacred space of our

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Where's the 'undo' button?

i'd redo lots of stuff, first guy i had sex with i'd take that one back for sure. My relationship with nick i'd never have gotten into that one. caused nothing but pain for years and years and years AFTER we broke up (i mean damn just not talk to me like NORMAL exs)

Probably would have stopped talking to toxic friends quicker

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Satisfaction (1988) Trailer

totally cheesy movie but Liam Neeson is sooooooo hot in it

Sunday, February 22, 2009

YouTube - The Twitter Song

too freakin funny

8-track cassettes should make a comeback

I know there are still some 8-tracks floating around my house. I was little when they were big but i have good memories listening to them


OK... my birthday is coming up in May. I so want this new DSi.
since i don't have a smartphone or whatever I was even contemplating buying a dreaded ipod touch just for the wifi access... BUT since this is coming out I added it to my amazon wishlist(linked in the sidebar), not that anyone will buy it for me lol.
I will hopefully be skirting away money each week to save up for this bad boy since I must have it. I'd rather have this than a stupid apple product anyway.(but desperate times call for desperate measures hence my thinking of buying an apple product)
clipped from
Nintendo DSi
Nintendo DSi

Danger Danger- One Step From Paradise

love this song

Friday, February 20, 2009

crap that travels with me

so i can call people generally for emergency use

burt's bees replenishing lipbalm
need my lipblam with me

about 20 or so lipglosses
just in case i want super glossy/glittery lips

makeup bag that i use as a wallet
it holds my license holder/change purse that i keep my money in, pens, gift cards if i have them, atomizer of perfume

cell phone charger
had an issue with my cell battery before and it's better to be safe than sorry

coach sunglass holder/sunglasses
i NEED my sunglasses at all times just in case

philips gogear mp3 player
gotta keep the tunes with me

Nikon Coolpix S550
I usually always have my camera with me

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Ok I am debating on using this blog more....
I generally use livejournal BUT I guess I could use this journal too since no one reads this one I could in all honesty be able to say more here than I do over there.
I do post some things friends only over there though.
BUT since no one reads this it doesn't matter what I say here right.

When I realized I was a grown-up

I still don't feel like an adult, I thought adults had all the answers. I know i still don't have answers to things so I keep waiting for the day i wake up with some sort of miracle knowledge.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

In defense of my vice: MAC cosmetics

my biggest vice is

MAC by hobvias sudoneighm (striatic)

buying makeup. I don't need any more honestly but i looove pretty things that will make me pretty (at least in my opinion improve my face).

I have enough eyeshadows to go on at least 50 faces. I haven't finished a shadow in years.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

I generally Post on Livejournal not blogger

if you want to read my journal the link is HERE